White Trash

I’ve lived in some bad places before. The kind of neighborhoods where the hookers and drug dealers fight for turf. Both selling heaven- just different diseases.

I think I lived next to this dead-beat tramp before. I’d like to think that this is just a budding humorist perfecting her craft. Unfortunately there’s too many low-life mindless crackers actually living in Virginia to ignore the possibility that she’s real.

If she’s just making fun of people, well, like her then it’s moderately funny. On the other hand if she’s real…very scary.

Geeks

According to this post there’s a hierarchy for geeks as well. As it turns out “furries” are at the bottom of the geek totem.

This is a furry:

Furries are at the bottom...

I’m comfortable being on the bottom, now.

Why Some Neighbors Suck

I like my neighbors, now. I’ve lived in places where the neighbors sucked- suck so bad that I briefly contemplated dousing them with gasoline and tossing a lit cigaret at them, suck so bad that staking them in the sun and covering them with ants and honey seemed OK.

Dave, the “good” neighbor in the exchange below has a first rate asshole for a neighbor. I’ll loan him my gas can.

Some folks are just asking to be beaten

Salinger- dead

J D Salinger, the enigmatic and reclusive author most famous for The Catcher in the Rye died last week at his home apparently of natural causes. Salinger didn’t just write about American life he shaped it. Holedn Caulfield was an anti-hero. He was the “Fonz,” James Dean, and Marlon Brando all rolled into one. He was cool.

I liked “Catcher.” But Salinger’s short fiction was my favorite. His Nine Stories is a great collection of short works. My all time favorite is “A Perfect Day for Bananafish” Read it you’ll see.

Salinger was twisted. But he had a rare vision of the human psyche and spirit. We’ve been missing him for a long time. So long JD.

Profiling?

OK, I’ll warn you this post is wholly politically incorrect. In fact if you have either sense, sensibility, or sensitivity LEAVE NOW.

Before you say it I know that Scott Roeder is an American, he’s white. I know that Tim McVey was white and American, I know that Eric Rudolph was white and American. Each of them also claimed to be good CHRISTIANS. Right.

Each of these men were solid American. Each considered himself a patriot. Each was also a first-rate whack-o.

That being said there’s a joke circulating on the internet now. It’s got to do with profiling. Here it is:

READ IT ALL, IT’S A VERY GOOD REFRESHER

A lot of Americans have become so insulated from reality that they imagine America can suffer defeat without any inconvenience to themselves.

Absolutely No Profiling! Pause a moment, reflect back, and take the following multiple choice test.

These events are actual events from history. They really happened! Do you remember?

HERE’S THE TEST

1. 1968 Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by:
a. Superman
b. Jay Leno
c. Harry Potter
d. A Muslim male extremist between the ages of 17 and 40

2. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and
massacred by:
a. Olga Corbett
b. Sitting Bull
c. Arnold Schwarzenegger
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

3.. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by:
a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

4. During the 1980’s a number of Americans were kidnapped in
Lebanon by:
a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. The Boy Scouts
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

5. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
a. A pizza delivery boy
b. Pee Wee Herman
c. Geraldo Rivera
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

6. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year
old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in
his wheelchair by:
a. The Smurfs
b. Davey Jones
c. The Little Mermaid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

7. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens , and a US Navy
diver trying to rescue passengers was murdered by:
a. Captain Kidd
b. Charles Lindberg
c. Mother Teresa
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

8. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
a. Scooby Doo
b. The Tooth Fairy
c. The Sundance Kid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

9. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
a. Richard Simmons
b. Grandma Moses
c. Michael Jordan
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

10. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed
by:
a. Mr. Rogers
b. Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from Wild Bill’s women
problems
c. The World Wrestling Federation
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

11. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as
missiles to take out the World Trade Centers and of the
remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other
was diverted and crashed by the passengers. Thousands of
people were killed by:
a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
b. The Supreme Court of Florida
c. Mr Bean
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

12. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
a. Enron
b. The Lutheran Church
c. The NFL
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

13. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
a. Bonnie and Clyde
b. Captain Kangaroo
c. Billy Graham
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

14. And now we can add: In 2009, 31 people wounded and 13 American Soldiers murdered on base at Fort Hood
by a Major that was known as a:

You guessed it – A Muslim male extremist between the age of 17 and 40

No, I really don’t see a pattern here to justify profiling, do you? So, to ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport security screeners will no longer be allowed to profile certain people. They must conduct random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, secret agents who are members of the President’s security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winner and former Governor Joe Foss, but leave Muslim Males between the ages 17 and 40 alone lest they be guilty of profiling..

Let’s send this to as many people as we can so that the Gloria Aldreds and other dunder-headed attorneys along with Federal Justices that want to thwart common sense, feel ashamed of themselves — if they have any such sense.

As the writer of the award winning story ‘Forrest Gump’ so aptly put it, ‘Stupid is as stupid does.’

Betti Cadmus

Betti wins this week’s award for internationally-recognized stupidity. Poor Betti, she’s just the district spokesperson for the Menifee Union School District. She just gets to be the talking head for people much dumber.

Seems Menifee has gained international recognition for banning Merriam Webster’s 10th edition from all school shelves because of the entry for “oral sex”. According to Randy Freeman, ” I also imagine there are words in there of concern.” I almost wet my pants at he thought of a guy named FREEMAN banning books. It could only be better if he owned slaves.

It’s a DICTIONARY! Next they’ll ban all DIC-tionaries because of the sound alike phoneme. Ironic, eh, a bunch of dickheads banning a DIC-tionary.

Sorry, I just can’t keep from chuckling over this kind of foolishness. The idea that Merriam Webster’s 10th edition dictionary isn’t age-appropriate for anyone who can actually read is silly. Worse is that the “age-appropriate” thing is tautological. If they’re worried that kids might actually try such things shouldn’t they also ban other religions, murder, robbery, rape, kidnapping. The whackos in Menifee could pretty soon ban ALL books.

It’s a dictionary. Move on. Be glad that the poor kid’s more interested in reading than overeating on twinkies, jerking off to online porn or playing video games.

Canada Has Morons Too!!!

Food washes up on the beach. Good food. Edible food. What do you do- you ignore it and walk away, right?

Well that’s exactly what you’re supposed to do in Canada, our deep-frozen, unarmed neighbors to the north. Seems theres’s actually a law prohibiting collecting lobsters by anyone without a lobster license. This is usually not a problem but a recent Atlantic storm began washing lobsters up on the beach in Petit-Rocher, New Brunswick, a picturesque backwater in the Canadian maritimes. Locals began collecting the delectable crustaceans. They were not dissuaded by the government threats:

However, John St.-Coeur, a spokesman for the federal Fisheries and Oceans ministry, issued a statement warning beachcombers they were breaking the law that says lobster can only be taken in traps by licensed fishermen during open season. Anyone else collecting lobsters could be fined $100,000, he said.

The town’s mayor dissed the bureaucrats. Good work.

Detective Baylor

Somethings are stupid. Sometimes the same action becomes exceedingly stupid because of your level of knowledge.

Many of our readers heard about the Washington, DC cop identified only as “Detective Baylor.” Baylor has the distinction of pulling a gun on a group of rowdies who hit his hummer with snowballs. That sure sounds like a capital offense to me!

Well there’s been an uncomfortable silence from MPD. But then how do you justify something so stupid as running the risk of escalating a snowball to murder. Some of the MPD comments have been stupid: “According to 3D Commander George Kusik, the uniformed officer conducted himself appropriately.” The Chief seems to disagree with the watch commander:

“Let me be very clear in stating that I believe the actions of the officer were totally inappropriate!” …”In no way should he have handled the situation in this manner.”

My opinion- Baylor is crazy, stupid, or he’s seriously popped a gasket. It’s snowballs on the car. There’s nothing you can do to justify drawing your firearm. Had that been a civilian in the same circumstance he’d have been beaten senseless by the uniforms that arrived. He’d then be arraigned on criminal assault charges. Baylor should at least be FIRED. Nothing makes his stupidity OK.

Watch for yourself:

You Cut Off What?

Sometimes it’s OK to play “doctor.” When your mom kisses your forehead to “check your temperature” and tells you you’re fine. When your coach says “you look OK get back in there.” Even if you have meningococcemia in one case and a fractured femur in the other it’s kinda “normal.”

But it’s NOT OK to take a knife and start whittling on your kids. Some nut job in Canada, identified only as DJW previously attempted to circumcise HIMSELF after reading the religion-laced poison-pen vitriolic hate-mongering writings of Richard Hoskins. A few years later, after butchering his own genitalia, DJW decides to circumcise his son DJ.

Now here’s where it gets strange. DJW tells DJ that circumcision would give him “extra special protection from God.” So he gets the FOUR YEAR OLD drunk and starts carving on his penis.

Poor DJW claims he’s being persecuted because he’s poor. Wrong. DJW’s being prosecuted because he’s criminally stupid.

Would it be so bad?

The guys over at Ptak Science Books just published a piece about “What Goes into Making Human Robot Girls, 1941” In the piece the author notes how awful life was in the 19302-50s when women were supposed to be subservient. While those ideas seem ridiculous by modern standards it’s worth remembering that those days also had fewer unwed pregnancies, lower drug abuse, greater security (we left our doors unlocked).

Before we begin falling on our knees at the alter of modern living lets consider the possibility that the good old days really were good. My grandmother wasn’t happier after she started working outside the house.