Adios

•April 18, 2009 • 1 Comment

It’s been a great run. The day has finally come when I’m just exhausted. I practice law and medicine as well as trying to have a private life. I’m going to try harder at the latter now.

The Random Reader is closing shop. Thanks to all the loyal readers who’ve followed our warped looks at the twisted world in which we live.

seriously, goodbye sirius…

•April 16, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I cancelled my XM subscription when Sirius and XM announced their proposed merger. I could not stomach the thought that Howard Stern might receive some of my money. You’ll notice that I dislike Howard so much that I didn’t provide a link for him.

Now it appears that the XM/Sirius merger might not save the radio. Oh, well….

Maybe Howard will go away for good.

Teachers Pet

•April 15, 2009 • Leave a Comment

It seems almost a shame that Amber Carter didn’t teach at Curtis Pickard’s school. Just think it would have allowed Carter to just charge students for the opportunity to snap photos of her naughty bits. Seems that would save everyone from the embarrassment of being arrested. Now that’s capitalism in action.

Instead Carter just had to use a school computer and fake sick leave to arrange a tryst at a local motel. I guess teachers really aren’t paid enough.

I want one

•April 14, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Imagine if detroit could produce cars we actually wanted to buy instead of the gas-guzzling uninspried crap they currently produce. As an aside it’s positively embarrassing that Korean kids design better cars that the experienced designers of current manufacturers.

The Phantom Corsair is one such car. It’s a six passenger coupe (you read that right SIX passenger). It’s beautiful with a timeless campy design that says drive me. I can’t understand why the sexy designs that work so well aren’t resurrected. I guess it’s hard to think straight if you’re an American CEO- must be something about counting those huge salaries and bonuses while running the company to perdition.

http://www.boingboing.net/2009/02/10/phantom-corsair-from.html

Everyone Needs a Hobby

•April 13, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Maybe someone should begin thinking that cell phones in schools are just a bad idea. After all if Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE- the best government acronym in a long time) can make us turn our phones off while we go through customs and immigration clearance why can’t the schools do likewise?

To bolster the argument we need only consider Curtis Pickard. Curtis it seems is stupid beyond his years. He’s been charged with a felony for using his cell phone to take upskirt pictures of his teacher.

While a cell phone ban might not make Curtis smarter it might have forced him to be a bit more creative in finding something stupid to do…

What to do, indeed…

•April 12, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Face it, most adults and virtually all kids exhibit some degree of stupidity. Who has never done anything that made you stop later and say, “gee, that was dumb.”

Well now it seems that the cool new thing to do is sending cell phone messages of naked people. This wouldn’t be a problem unless the naked person happens to be a minor. Then all of a sudden you’re a child pornographer or child abuser. Now what should happen if the picture you just sent is of yourself. Aren’t child porn laws and exploitation laws designed to prevent children from being exploited by others?

The folks over at Slate have a great story with real people.

He has nuts and balls…

•April 2, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Stewart Parnell of Peanut Corporation of America is a low life. He’s an irresponsible businessman who injured customers. Sheer greed allowed him to intentionally hide the safety violations found at his peanut processing plants.

But, despite Henry Waxman’s indignant protestations, we have to ask, “Where were the regulators?” The pictures of these plants reveal abject squalor sufficient that even myopic, criminally negligent, civil servants should have been able to detect the health code violations. It’s not simply Parnell who should be tried and fined or jailed but the regulators and inspectors. Our food safety is the responsibility of the company but the watchdog for compliance is the government. The watchdog was asleep this time. That’s who Waxman should be investigating.

Jiffy Lube

•April 1, 2009 • Leave a Comment

OK, so I’ve never been a big believer in the basic honesty of the average (or below average) auto mechanic. For most people I think that honesty is an unusual quality. In fact I was dismissed from a jury pool once because I told the judge that I believed that everyone lies and than most people lie more easily than they breathe.

The guys at Jiffy Lube appear to be working diligently to prove me right. They tried to convince a customer that the dirty square air filter in his car needed to be replaced. the only problem- his car did not use a square air filter. So looks like the guys at Jiffy Lube are crooks and stupid.

Idiots

•March 31, 2009 • Leave a Comment

The guys at Wired note that a universal characteristic of the human race is that we all are certain that everyone else in the world is an idiot.

There may be some truth to the assertion since I’m sure that I’m smarter than some of the world. Enjoy:

Aimee Mullins

•March 30, 2009 • Leave a Comment

It’s almost a shame to put this post after the bogus trans-Atlantic swim story but it’s so inspirational I must. Aimee Mullins is a genuine American treasure. She’s smart. She’s beautiful. She’s variably tall. Oh, and by the way she’s “disabled.” For readers who don’t know Aimee is a double amputee who doesn’t know she’s “disabled.” She almost feels sorry for us. After watching this remarkable woman I understand how she feels. I love the part where she notes that Pam Anderson has more silicone in her body than Ms. Mullins does but nobody calls Pam Anderson “disabled.”

Watch and learn…